Alot to blog about, but i'll have to keep most of it simple, since i don't want to break ANOTHER world record of the longest blog ever...

Being with Mollie... God, i can hardly explain it for hell itself. She's so amazing, despite the fact she heavily abuses my trust as a joke. We're just always so clingy to each other, hell, she spent most of today throwing herself on me...

There's only one thing bugging me, and hopefully i'll be sorting that out soon. Stevie, seems to be so angry at me, and whether that's stress talking for him, or not, i still don't like how it's going... I've worked out relatively quickly that he's jealous of me, and i'll start at the earliest date i haven't blogged, so i can explain to you my position, Leo.

First day, 13th June, during the day, a friday... Stevie wanted to hang out with us, and i was meant to be going over to Mollie's that day to hang out with James and her. Stevie didn't know that me and Mollie were going out until he pulled a Lee, and showed up on my doorstep unexpectedly. Not that i had a problem with that, but i let him in for a while, and while catching a glimpse of my MSN screen name over my shoulder, he quickly joined the dots and worked out me and Mollie were going out. We headed out at 3:30 to Mollie's, despite the fact she hadn't been online that morning, and she hadn't answered her phone when i rang. We got there at 3:40, and there was nobody there when we rang the bell, only the dogs barking their heads off at us for existing in their front yard. We headed around to the Heath for a while, then headed back to the house at 4, since i gathered they may have been out until 4. Once again, got to the door, nobody. We just sat on the opposite side of the road (Oh yeah, cause that so DIDN'T scream 'needy person here', and spoke, mainly about me explaining my idea for a career next year. Eventually they pulled up after going to Duxford, coulda told me that... But then, it began. Stevie, suddenly realised, that in his eyes, he is the gooseberry of the group. Arielle isn't in the UK, obviously, and therefore he feels single, since me and James have Mollie and Robyn around us. The one thing he forgot, was that Robyn hardly hangs out with us anymore, so that just left me and Mollie left to discriminate against to do with this. In his rage, he made Mollie feel massively unwanted, so while we were walking from Mollie's to James', me and Stevie split off, i told Mollie and James to head to his, so i could sort out Stevie, explain to him what this was about. I warned him, when he went into this relationship, that long-distance relationships are very difficult to maintain, simply because the want to be close is almost a need... But still, he flipped out, and i wadded through the anger to try and make him realise, that i wasn't going to treat Mollie any differently when he was around, simply because that's unfair on me and her, purely because, i think anyone would admit, if put in my situation, they wouldn't act any differently, in total honesty. I get where he's coming from with the jealousy, but what he never realised, was the fact that i've been jealous of him basically since i met him, instead, i put that to one side and accepted him for who he was, and what he does. After an hour of talking, we eventually broke off, he said he wanted a week to myself, and i accepted that, headed back to James', with a massive headache... Headaches have been a relatively common thing for me over the past few days, actually...

Saturday, moving up in this massive calender that only spans a few days. Me, James, Mollie, and finally Robyn, were all hanging out, and it was a day i could finally be really close to Mollie, it was amazing... Not alot happened, that i can remember, it was all just generally blinded by love, at least to me anyway. the evening aproached, and Mollie suggested me and James slept over. A- ...Whoa, wait, back up a bit, sleep over?! I was a little taken back by this offer, but ironically enough, it worked relatively well. We went to sleep at about 1am, but i got violently woken up at 2, by James, dished out as a raw slap to the face. I woke up on my back, totally dazed, Mollie lying next to me (We had all slept on the same matress in her room, double bed, going from left to right, me, Mollie, James), looking rather worried at me. I asked what was wrong, she said i had been thrashing around, yelling, swearing in my sleep, as if i was having a nightmare. I had, kind of, but i hardly count them as nightmares since i've got so used to having them now. I always have dreams where i get killed, usually very violently. This one, was relatively close to home, but they always are. It seemed so real as well, but that was nothing new either. It started in that room, Mollie had her arm around me, but she got up, left the room, and James followed. It ended up where i went downstairs, James and Mollie were in the kitchen, with Stevie (Wtf?), and began attacking me. I broke out the house, got down the road a bit, and just ran and ran and ran, while other people started following me as well, trying to kill me. I got to the park in the center of town, started fending them off with my flip-knife, and generally yelling obscenities at them. They backed off, but the three of them came forward, James struck me over the head and i fell unconscious. I woke up tied to a chair in a dark room, James basically interrogating me, while Stevie and Mollie were all over each other behind him... It made me sick, so i tured away. During the time i turned, i somehow broke out of the binds behind me, and James threw himself at me. I ended up with him in a headlock, and i had to snap his neck to avoid him killing me... I tried to get up, but had a bullet put in my leg, turned around, Mollie had a handgun, and i couldn't move, Stevie behind her. She just said 2 words; 'Fuck. You.', was just about to fire... Then James slapped me in the face and i woke up. Me and Mollie lay for another 2 hours, just talking, and it was great... It was so nice to hear how she felt, just me and her, since James went back to sleep after he slapped me across the face. I got hardly any sleep, but that was Saturday over, into Sunday.

Sunday went relatively the same as Saturday had during the day, so i won't go into much, since it was pretty much the same.

Monday, was a day me, Mollie and James had planned to hang out, so i was heading down, but i ran into Stevie walking past the White Bear. He was going to Tescos to request that time off when Arielle is coming over, so i said i'd go with him, then he could come with me to Mollie and Robyn's afterwards. On the way back, i mentioned about how Mollie, Robyn and James are heading to France in August, and i was CONSIDERING asking them if i could come too, like, pay my share an' all. This was just a breif thought, i hadn't finalized it or anything, but the reason i'm explaining this will make more sense in a minute. I also mentioned to Stevie that the three of them were most likely going to be in the pool when we got there, so Stevie wanted to join. I didn't, to be honest, i don't like getting wet, more importantly i'm rather self conscious... But he headed to his house first, while i headed to Mollie's, i was hoping to catch her before Stevie got there, since then she would be relatively loving towards me. I knew she would be different when he was there, but what i got, i was hardly expecting. When he was there, i tried to at least hug her, or cuddle her, even put my arm around her. I got nothing. It was actually rather depressing, really. They were all debating who would go in the pool first, not to mention having a go at me, calling me a coward for not wanting to go in. Call me a wuss, i have my boundaries when it comes to things like this, and i'd like if people respect them... James suggested i went back to mine to get my Gocam, so i did, i left while only telling James, since he could sense i was pissed off about this, not only the whole wuss thing, but the fact i had to be void of any emotions towards Mollie, which pissed me off. When i got to mine, i went upstairs, got my Gocam, headed downstairs, went into the porch, closed the porch door, slipped my shoes on, went to unlock the front door... Then i realised, the keys weren't in the front door, and the door was still locked. The key, was actually on the opposite side of the porch door. I was stuck. I called James, told him i was stuck, then i called my mum, to find out where in the hell her and my sister were. They were at a doctors appointment... Great, absolutely great, i was stuck in my porch, while my girlfriend and my 2 best friends were enjoying themselves in the pool. Although, this is where my previous reference comes in. While i was stuck in my massive glass prison, Stevie said 2 things to James. Firstly, he said that i WAS going to be asking about going to France, as if i had already decided i would ask, and that i would be going. Clearly another time Stevie felt like he was going to get left out, no suprise... The second thing, was something he actually kicked up on Friday. He said about how he couldn't hug Mollie anymore, because she's with me. I told him that i would only have a problem with it, if she didn't hug me still. He said the same thing to James (Seriously, it makes me worry someone can kick up a fuss over something like that...), and the worst part of all, is that after being stuck in my porch with no cool air for half an hour, the first thing i was greeted with was the latter of the two problems. James was asking when Mollie was out of hte room, if i was having a problem with Stevie hugging Mollie, made a massive deal out of it since aparently it was distressing Stevie. Well i'm sorry, if i feel uncomfortable about it, simply because from what i've seen and heard, there was chemistry between them, it makes me rather nervous, not to mention no matter what Mollie's said, i'll always be worried, that Stevie will steal her from me. That's a paranoia i'll never be able to shake. Another thing i found rather irritating, was the fact that i was greeted by Stevie with a 'Hey Elso, you missed Mollie's clevage' ...Oh yeah, because that was totally the main and only thing i missed. Honestly... He acuses me of being unable to go through a relationship without sex involved? Yet aparently, he's the one perving over MY girlfriend? Some people have alot of fucking cheek, i'll say... Then Stevie had to go, dinner. Mollie said she wanted the rest of the evening to herself, so me and James left. On the way, though, James asked me why i was going to try and come to France with them. Then that was the next thing to piss me off more. So Stevie had said to them as if i had meant it was a complete 100% thought in my head. It was light brainstorm, and i made James realise that. James headed back to mine with me, and he went on Xbox Live, Halo 3, while i went on my PC. Mollie came onto MSN after a while, and she asked about it too. that was when i just had it. I didn't flip out at her, that was unfair, but i just got really pissed off that he'd done this. People tell ME not to be paranoid, when i get all this stuff being flung at me on all sides. Fantastic...

Tuesday came around, my sister was going to france with the school in the morning, and i said i'd go with her to school in the morning to see her off. 6am wakeup, but i was up and ready to head down with her. Since alot of crap has kicked off with my father (Used to be dad, i don't feel like he deserves that title anymore...), to the point where i've now completely removed him from my life, i feel like my role as a brother towards Emz has dramatically increased. I have a worry that he's gonna try and reel her out of our house, and into his. After that, i went home, logged into MSN, and left Mollie an offline message. Told her i'd probably be busy that morning, so she should invite me to view my cam (Since i have auto-accept on the important contacts), to see if i was in the room or not. When she did get the message, it was half past midday, and i had fallen asleep in my bed. So they got a lovely view of me asleep in bed. James called my mobile, since he was there on the opposite end, and they had a right laugh as i flinched as i heard the phone going off, got up and answered it. Mollie wanted to speak with me, and told me she wanted a day to herself. I didn't get why, but i was a little upset about that. I miss her whenever i'm not with her, and it's really annoying that i do, but i still love her regardless. I put this time to good use, caught up on the sleep i missed the night before, and i also moved my desk to bring in the new one. About 5 seconds after moving them around and sitting in my chair, James called me, told me i should probably call Mollie, since she was really upset. Great, the ONE day we don't spend time together, and something happens. Aparently some chavs were having a go at her because she's Canadian. I got so miffed, i told James to swing on about to my house (This was at 8:30 at night, he was taking Sarah, his sister, to Robyn's, since she was sleeping over that night with her), so i could come too. As we got nearer the house, i got so angry, i went hunting for those chavs. James followed, but it was mainly me hunting in pure rage and anger... Long story short, we found them, and they promised to not brush on the Canadian stuff with them. James wanted to take the violent aproach to this, as did i, but when we got nearer, i knew i wasn't ready for a scrap, but more importantly, i suddenly realised something. I was doing this for Mollie, and i've learnt relatively quickly that she hates violence, not to mention i don't have the mental willpower to hit someone. I took the peaceful aproach to it instead, since i didn't want to fight. I got what i wanted out of them, and so we left, even though James called me a coward. We headed back to Mollie's house to see if Sarah had got there alright, and i went in to see if Mollie was still alright, also to report to her what had happened. She respected i had taken the non-violent aproach to it, and i'm glad she felt better for how i dealt with it, cause that was all i wanted. I wanted her to feel better, her to feel happier... And i got that, even if James kept calling me a coward. That hurt, but i brushed it off, my priority was Mollie, and my objective was complete, another missions sucess. On the way back, James got a text from Mollie, aparently saying why she wanted the day apart. It was because, she wanted to see if she missed me, since she had this odd feeling her emotions were all over the place about me, which is understandable. She did miss me, an awful lot, and hence why today was so good...

Today, i won't report on alot, because my hands are getting really tired. I headed over earlier than usual, since i brought my laptop, i went on with re-writing my novel, since i've been really determined to get restarted. I did that over there, and it was nice to do that, interesting to observe James, Mollie and Robyn at close range, while listening to music... We headed over to James' for a while, and spent alot of time on the trampoline outside. Two drawbacks from it, though, i got badly injured twice. First time, i bent my spine forward in a horribly akward position, the second time, me and Mollie were being an example in something James suggested, it involved my nuts getting crushed, 3 times in a row, and not in the good way... My voice basically snapped, not like the comical high-pitched voice, i just couldn't talk very well, nor walk very far or fast. Mollie spent so much time appologising, but it was alright, i forgave her, it wasn't her fault. The only thing that sucked, was Mollie's grounded for tomorrow, and i hate that, cause then i can't see her. Means i have to go another day without seeing her, but i'll cope, i hope... We spoke on hte phone tonight for about half an hour, and that was nice, we did it the night before as well, spent an entire £5 credit on it, but it was worth it for the hour and 10 minutes i got out of it. We just spoke in general about anything, really... I may have spent a fair amount of money on it, but it was worth every penny.

But still, despite all this stuff with Stevie, i'm still glad i've got Mollie, she's just so great, and even if i may have to fend off men in time from her, it'll be worth every painful blow i recieve...

I'm finally happy, finally, finally happy... And i'm so grateful i've got her. She's just such an amazing woman, just, so wonderful, it's so hard to explain why, she just is... We have so much in common, and we're always making each other laugh...

...Still, i'm not gonna waste anymore of your time, Leo, this has been a massive blog, so i'll leave you with this to read for the next few days. Take care, and don't forget, your half-brothers birthday is coming up on Sunday.

I love you, my sweet children...

-Elso